


Hajime and Mahiru: Sanity Squad!

by 200GameAcidTrip (orphan_account), orphan_account



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 14:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10811169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/200GameAcidTrip, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Watch as the only sane pair on Jabberwock Island try to deal with their eccentric classmates.(Island Mode AU, contains copious amounts of Hinazumi. Reuploaded to its own collection from my prompt fill collection)





	1. Mission 1: Get Kazuichi Over Sonia

**Author's Note:**

> you've seen this before, but there's more new stuff to come!
> 
> join the discord of dangan writers, where the fun happens: https://discord.gg/DPwkDdy

“Okay, I’ve seen you do some stupid things before, but that? That’s irrational.”

“What? You were saying about how Souda-kun was such an annoyance, with him being obsessed with Sonia-san all the time.”

“Yeah, but that didn’t mean I gave you permission to take my camera, take photos of Sonia-chan on her date with Akane-chan, and drop them all in front of Souda’s cabin for him to see! And why are we hiding out in the bushes with binoculars anyway?”

“You’ll see. This is the solution to the problem.”

And just as they said that, Kazuichi approached his cabin, looking to get a tool out of his colossal box of mechanical equipment. He noticed the photos on his doorstep, rifled through them, and let out an anguished wail the likes of which no one could have expected from him, not even himself.

The next day, Mahiru noticed that during breakfast, the Kazuichi who was so clearly love-struck for Sonia was replaced by a morose, melancholy mechanic who didn’t even register his former love interest making a graceful entrance into the hotel’s dining hall.

“Well, I suppose you were right,” she reluctantly admitted.

“Mission… accomplished? I guess?”

The two went for a hesitant high-five, which died off quickly.

Hajime spoke up after a good minute of silence. “Well, since we know Souda-kun won’t be tinkering with the theme park rides, do you want to go to the fourth island tonight?”

“Oh thank god, Hajime, I thought I’d have to be the one to ask.”

“Well, clearly I’m missing out, because when it’s you suggesting dates to me, you’re all flustered like you’re asking me out for the first time, and it’s so adorable…”

“Shut up,” she retorted, with something of a playful edge.

 _That’s my Mahiru_ , Hajime thought.


	2. Mission 2: Tame Teruteru

“I can’t believe you talked me into this, Hajime.”

“Well, I was right about how to deal with Souda-kun, so why shouldn’t I be right this time?”

Mahiru sighed and pulled Hajime behind the elaborate machine made for their latest “mission”, as Hajime now insisted on calling them. Kazuichi had agreed to build a contraption for them in exchange for moral support (he still hadn’t gotten over the Sonia-dating-a-girl thing) and now the two were kneeled behind it, waiting to strike.

Soon enough, their target arrived. Teruteru Hanamura, carrying a note that he looked over one last time and read.

“’Meet me in this back alley behind the hospital. I’ll be sure to give you some special treatment <3 ~from Mikan Tsumiki’… Well I’m not one to pass up an opportunity, if she’s there, she’s fair game!”

Had he paid a more attentive ear, Teruteru would have heard Mahiru almost retching in disgust at what he was saying. But, of course, he didn’t, and he caught sight of a figure at the end of the alley, which bore a close resemblance to his target.

“All right… Come to Daddy…”

He skulked forward, looking to catch her by surprise, grabbing-hands at the ready… until he came close enough to notice it was just a mannequin dressed up to look like Mikan.

“Uh… what? Was this all just a prank? ‘cause I swear…”

Mahiru, sick of hearing his voice, yanked the lever backwards.

The image of a great demon, glowing bright red, nostrils smoking and roaring from the depths of hell, rose up and bore down over Teruteru, its eyes seeming to dig into his soul. He was frozen to the spot in terror, until he let out a terrible scream.

“GYAAAAAAAAAAAA! BEYONCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

And he ran, as fast as Hajime and Mahiru had seen any man run before. Mahiru pushed the lever forward again to deactivate the beast, and she and Hajime stood.

“Well, that seemed promising,” said Mahiru. “I certainly hope it worked.”

“You’ve got that right,” Hajime agreed. “The sooner he stops creeping on you and all the other girls on the island, the better. Oh, and Mahiru?”

“Wha–” Mahiru started before she was stopped by a quick kiss to the lips.

“Nice timing.”

Mahiru had to take a few seconds to gather herself before she left with Hajime.

—–

Breakfast came the next day, and when Hajime and Mahiru both arrived first, Teruteru was ready to serve both of them. To their disappointment, he still delivered a sleazy pickup line to Mahiru (when would he take the hint that she’d been taken for a while?). But something changed, as all the others arrived. His eyeline wasn’t always at boob height. He never once gave Hiyoko the cause to slap him or Fuyuhiko to snap at him for how he was treating Peko.

Some progress had been made. Not a lot, but some.

And Hajime and Mahiru enjoyed the experience of achieving something together. Mission (sort of) accomplished!


	3. Mission 3: Infiltrate Gundam's Cult

“I don’t know how you get yourself into these situations, Hajime. Or, for that matter, why I get involved.”

“I just feel another successful mission coming on this time! And you come along because our missions double as cute dates.”

“What exactly are we doing this time?”

“Well, i’ve heard Tanaka-kun talking in whispered tones to the others, in a way that makes it seem like he’s recruiting them into a cult. We need to infiltrate it and work out exactly what’s going on.”

“Wait, a cult? That explains the black hooded robes we’re wearing. And the line of torches along the path.”

The path through the trees seems to go on forever, until they approach the gathered crowd (of about six) in identical black robes. They gather around their subject, who breaks out in gleeful “evil” laughter.

“Gahahaa! Welcome to the black mass of the Supreme Overlord of Ice himself, Gundam Tanaka! You should know that through the pamphlets you signed, you bound your souls to me for all eternity! Now, you must listen, for we shall perform the first ritual. The ritual… of the Killer Lepus!”

With this, he reveals from behind a long flowing cape… a small white rabbit.

“Now the first thing you must remember, is to never lift this terrifying beast on high! If it is high in the air, the beast shall be distressed, and a million curses shall be placed upon you. Instead, sit, and allow it to approach your lap as it pleases!”

He goes on to explain all the specifics of caring for and loving a pet rabbit, in his own… rather eccentric way.

“So… what was the problem here?” Mahiru whispers to Hajime.

“Honestly, I didn’t expect it to be this… innocuous. He really does seem to mean well. And besides, we get to pet a cute rabbit. Isn’t that all worth it?”

“Well, yeah. This was actually a pretty good idea for a date. Thanks for bringing me along.”

When she’s sure no one else is looking, she brings a kiss to Hajime’s cheek. Mission (sort of) accomplished!


End file.
